Choose Your Sacrifice

Last week I wrote about choosing balance and giving yourself a break when feeling burnt out. Along with this idea I spoke on going after what you want without feeling that you can only go after one dream. Sure, it is sometimes easier to focus on one goal or one set of goals at once. But that doesn’t mean you have to forget about the other things on your list. Everything I I’ve been talking about and discussing lately starts with choices. Choosing balance is great, but on the other side of this is that sometimes when you try to find balance or try to figure out what you want to focus your efforts on, you have to give something up.

Even if it is short term, when putting a goal on hold to focus on family, you sacrifice time and moment in making progress towards that goal. For me, in my recent weight loss journey, I was working out a lot a night to start. I have always been a night owl and stay up way too late watching tv or playing games. Video games were an easy way to escape my stresses and lack of control. I loved challenging story mode games that made me think about strategy or had long quests that helped me think about anything other than work all day.

TV was similar, it is a way to escape and to find somewhat mindless enjoyment in something. However, I realized I kept going back to the same shows I’ve already watched multiple times. This of course might be a way to subconsciously curb my anxiety as in the back of my head I already know the outcome of the episodes/ series. I am also someone that once I start something like a new game or tv show, I have to see it through, and I will tend to binge.

As my weight loss journey became something that I was serious about and working out had to be a part of that, I had to find the time in my schedule to fit it in.  At first, I thought I could just work out at home, so I bought some equipment and put it in an extra room. This would allow me to still have time to work out while not having to give up my tv time. I mean I could just put the tv show on in the background while I used the treadmill or used my dumbbells. I quickly found that I am an all or nothing person. If I am working out, it NEEDED to be part of my schedule. Otherwise, it is hard for me to stay completely committed. But also, as I continued my workouts, I needed more equipment and needed the structure of an actual gym. I needed to push myself to leave the house and go to the gym to keep myself motivated. With that though, I had to make a choice to give something up. Stay at home with my tv and using my video games or sacrifice those to ensure I have better workouts and the ability to support my health. I chose to sacrifice the TV and games because in the end, they did not add any true value to my life like better health would.

This wasn’t the end of it though. Working a lot of hours with a bit of a drive to the office, then coming home to only have a couple hours with my kids and wife before driving back to the gym… It became more than just a sacrifice of tv and games. I didn’t fully recognize that I had been sacrificing my time with my family, which with the drive back and forth was over an hour and half out of the day taken away from them. The only solution for any of this was to work out less, workout more at home, or wake up at 5 a.m. every day and hit the gym before work. For weeks and weeks, I kept telling myself that I would wake up early. I asked my wife for help to motivate me but me trying to note wake her up for no reason, I would rush and turn my alarms off in the morning and fall right back to sleep. I could not break this cycle so at one point I stopped trying and I fell into a situation where I stopped working out.  This all or nothing mindset can really get in the way of things sometimes.

At some point I knew I didn’t want to give up my time with family, but I also couldn’t stop working out. So, I told myself once again, it all comes down to a choice.  In the end I will always choose family. But looking in the mirror and deciding what I wanted and what I needed, I had push myself to find balance between both my family, my work and my health. I set an alarm that only vibrates and put my phone under my pillow to make sure I wake up but don’t have a loud alarm to also wake up my wife (shout out to her as putting the phone under my pillow was her idea). I chose to sacrifice my sleep, to wake up early and start hitting the gym before work.  Is it easy, no, but do I feel that I made the right choice. ABSOLUTELY!

Even if I don’t go every single morning, I know I made the right choice for me and my situation. Now I have time at night to spend with my wife and kids, to write, to read, or even yes go back to watching some tv if I want. In the end, sacrificing my sleep, and tv, we the clear choice for what I wanted and needed to give up.

The realization for me came with my work out etc. but in everything we do, we must sacrifice something. In changing jobs to public accounting, I sacrificed time at home for a job that had me traveling a bunch but was a huge salary increase from the job before. When I left public accounting, I sacrificed working from home for a job that I had to drive 35-40 minutes into the office but kept me home every night with my family. If I decide to start a business, it can take a lot of time and effort, of which will impact my family time. I can try and explain this to my kids but until they are older, they would not fully understand what that sacrifice was for. If I decide to not take a promotion to ensure my time with my family isn’t impacted, I am sacrificing career advancement and pay.

Everything we do starts with that choice even if we don’t understand that it truly is a choice at the time. Moving forward I know that I am going to keep telling myself that with every choice comes a that sacrifice. So, whatever you want out of life, think about what you are gaining but also what you are sacrificing and make the right choice for you. You may end up regretting your choice but realizing it began with your choice and no one else’s will help you accept the outcome good or bad. Your choices have an impact, choose your sacrifice, and choose wisely.